Thin Skin

Lightyears away from any solar system, and even further from any inhabited planet or moon, Nirranfar Station lies on the interstellar crossroads of a dozen influential systems and destinations. Both far from civilization and near where you want to be, Nirranfar is the galaxy’s premiere fuel station and hotel that everyone passes through at one time or another. Unlike most people passing through, insomniac Howell Wakefield lives and works on Nirranfar as a barista by day and bartender by night. These are his stories…

“Thin Skin”

Howell Wakefield tried not to stare at her bright blue pupils, especially since her eyes were closed.

In fact, the woman was crying, her hands braced against the bar’s edge. She faced forward, leaning over the wooden bar, rocking gently, her face not far from Howell’s.

The man at the table behind her was still loudly commenting to his friends about her looks, and Howell knew if it carried on, he’d have to intervene.

Howell could tell this man had struck a nerve. The woman started out politely answering the man’s questions when she’d entered the bar. But he must’ve said something vile, because she marched right up to the bar, sat at the stool, and refused to respond any more to the man’s questions.

At first, Howell thought she was okay, but she didn’t respond when he asked her what drink she wanted. That’s when her eyes closed and tears started escaping out from beneath her eyelids.

“Leave her alone, Kress,” said one of the men at the table.

Kress said, “I ain’t hurtin’ nobody, Tony. It’s all in good fun.”

Kress looked over towards the woman, but Howell glared in his direction. Howell figured the man must’ve seen his look, because he and friends continued their socializing in hushed tones.

Howell said, barely above a whisper, “I’ll keep an eye on them for you.”

The woman didn’t say anything, but she did give her head a slight nod.

Howell inhaled to speak, but he thought better of it.

“What?” the woman said.

“Sorry…I didn’t want to be rude, but can you see me? With your eyes closed, I mean?”

“Yes. No, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Alright, then. Well, you can see the menu here and the drink list on the wall there. If you need anything, let me know, alight?”

She nodded again, this time more definitively, and Howell noticed he could see the contracting of her neck muscles beneath her skin. The veins and arteries spread over through her face, her neck, her arms. He stopped his eyes at her collarbone, also visible under the skin, and Howell looked to the other side of the bar.

“Sorry,” he said, looking at her closed eyes again. “I didn’t mean to stare. I just wanted to say, I am in charge of the bar tonight, so if those guys or any person bothers you, myself included, I will personally escort them out of this bar. I promise.”

She opened her eyes for the first time since sitting down. Her reddish hair went down beyond her shoulders, and she was wearing a casual turquoise dress. Everywhere that her skin was visible, her skin was translucent. She clicked her fingernails on the bar, which Howell noticed were painted a dark shade of blue.

She said, “Could I just get a glass of your famous Nirranfar Cola? And with no ice?”

Howell nodded and swiped up the fountain hose and sprayed the cola into a new glass. A man at the far end of the bar waved Howell down, and Howell gave the man a refill before returning to the woman. All the while, he kept glancing over at Kress’s table, but by then the friends had calmed down even more.

“Refill?” Howell asked, seeing she’d already downed the whole drink.

“Please.”

Howell sprayed the glass until the bubbles crowned over the top. “You sure you don’t want anything stronger? If you don’t mind me saying, you looked a little distraught earlier.”

“I made a rule for myself awhile back. Never get drunk in unfamiliar spaceports. Especially when traveling alone.”

“Well, Miss, if you’re here alone and don’t wanna get drunk, what’re you doing at a bar?”

She shrugged. “I heard this about the only spot open this late on the station.”

“Yep, here and the chapel.”

“You guys take the Galactic Commons Clock a little too seriously for a fuel station.”

“Workers need to sleep too. Some semblance of time, of life moving forward, even if it’s all illusory. Keeps things interesting for me, at least. If the bar was open twenty-four seven, I’d really be missing the coffee shop by hour twenty-three. I know we’re the only spot open, but—correct me if I’m wrong—you don’t really seem like the social type.”

She grinned, cheek muscles contracting. “You think you got me figured out or something?”

“Nope. I’ve just learned to ask the right questions.”

“Well, if you must know, I had a date. I recently joined this online dating site that connected with the AIPs and internets of dozens on solar systems in this sector of the galaxy. Figured I’d have at least one match out there.”

“You chose Nirranfar as a date spot? I always thought Nirranfar was too out of the way to be destination, unless you’re already passing through.”

“That’s the thing! We were both passing through for different reasons. It seemed like fate to me, you know. What’s that idiom? ‘Star-crossed lovers,’ that’s it.”

“So it wasn’t as meant-to-be as you thought?”

“I didn’t know how to tell him about my skin. He screamed in my face and ran back to his docked ship. And he’s leaving in the morning. I came here to get my mind off of it, ’til that jerk back there started talking.”

“Sorry. I’d like to say we’re usually nice on Nirranfar, but nothing’s really consistent here besides a few of the workers.”

“It’s okay. I’m still getting used to this new…reality. It hasn’t really been that long.”

“What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“I was working on a solar mining vessel. There was some sort of malfunction with our work ship. Two of my friends died, burned to a crisp, and the other is in the hospital with major complications. They said I was the lucky one, and I guess that’s true. But nobody knows exactly how the solar radiation did this to my skin. I’m now a medical and scientific mystery.”

“You’re a miracle, really,” Howell said.

“I feel like a freak.”

“You’re not. You’ve been given life, and that’s a blessing.”

“You don’t know what it’s been like living this way! The last six months have been hell.”

Howell shrugged. “You don’t know my life either. Because of my insomnia, I almost never sleep. Not to mention the other health issues. But my point is not to compare. My point is this: we all struggle. Life isn’t fair, and yes, some struggle more than others, but even so, life is a gift. Living is worthwhile, even when it feels hard and pointless. More cola?”

He sprayed her glass.

She said, “Thanks. You’re right. I know you’re right. Even before the accident, I never felt normal. Never felt pretty. Now I really feel even more ugly. People are either disgusted or too interested, like I’m some sort of exotic novelty. Unless I cover myself completely, head to toe, anybody and everybody gets to within me. They see my blood moving and my muscles contracting and my organs working…even right now, with clothing on, I feel too exposed. I can’t even close my eyes without seeing people stare at me!”

“Sorry about that, earlier.”

She sighed. “It’s alright. I know you weren’t trying to be rude. But still, everybody can see beneath my skin. They think they see the real me, but they don’t. But if they did, the reaction would be the same, because this skin is a part of me now.”

“It’s a part of you, but it doesn’t define you. You don’t need to protect your image, so long as you protect your heart.”

“I saw my heart when I looked in the mirror, just this morning.”

“That’s now what I meant, you know that. Your real heart. The true you is deeper than skin and organs.”

Kress stood behind the woman and said, “I’d like to see your heart, miss.”

Howell said, “Kress, is it? I didn’t see you walk up here. Do you need another drink?”

“Oh, I can see your blood pumping faster now. You must be excited to see me? Don’t you love the attention? You best believe I can give you attention.”

Howell said, “Kress, go back to your table now.”

“Excuse me, Mr. Bartender, I’m having a private conversation with this exquisite lady.”

“Don’t talk to me,” she said.

Howell said, “Kress, back off. Now. Or else.”

“Or else what? You’re just jealous that you’re working tonight, ‘cause I get to take a lady from the bar back to my ship and you don’t. Now, don’t you have other people to serve? The whole bar’s thirsty.” He turned back to the woman. “Now, I’d love to see that pretty little heart of yours. I—”

Howell grabbed the soda hose and sprayed cola at Kress’s mouth. He closed his mouth, covered his face, and ducked, but Howell continued spraying the top of his head.

Howell looked at the woman and said, “Hold on to the bar.” He stopped the cola stream and placed the hose back in its normal spot, but he also took a remote out of his pocket.

Kress stood upright and faced Howell. Kress reached his arm as if to grab Howell’s neck, but Howell pushed a button on the remote. Kress’s feet lifted off the floor and his head bounced off the bar, both his hands sprawling out, looking for something to hold onto. As Kress levitated in the now zero-gravity environment, the bar’s other patrons began to float as well.

Howell took three full bottles, jumped up, and positioned them over Kress, as Kress still struggled to do anything but flail. Howell check his position and footing and calmly pressed the button on his remote again, and the bottles dropped on Kress’s head, back, and tailbone, as Kress himself hit the bar and then crumpled to the ground in front of it.

The woman laughed. Most of the bar returned to normal, but Kress’s friends just stared in shock.

Howell said, “You see, Miss…

“Veronica. My name’s Veronica.”

“Miss Veronica, there are some things in life we can’t control. Like Kress, for instance. But, like the bar’s artificial gravity drive, there are things you can control. Like the weight with which you give their opinions. Don’t let folks like Kress weigh you down. Instead, let the gravity of their own decisions work against them.”

Veronica smiled and raised her glass. “I’ll drink to that.”

And they drank and talked for awhile more as the station’s medical staff carted Kress away to the infirmary.

Which to Howell, was a pretty standard end of a normal night at the bar of Nirranfar Station.